Saturday, September 15, 2007

Where do I begin and how do I end it?

The day started out very peaceful. Fall crisp air set the mood for apple season. Lil man was off with his Grandpa for the day so we took the girls for an afternoon of apple picking. We picked just 1 bunch which consisted of Gala and Empire varieties.


Frog was bit by the eye which has caused the swelling you see on her face..
Panda loving on "Courtney LOve" formerly known as "Mrs. Frizzle"

After coming home to check on animals and pick the remaining tomatoes in the garden, our family has experienced another tragedy. Willow was run over less then 10 feet away from me, crushing her back end. Where do I begin and how do I end it? So many of us are experiencing animal loss at this time. It crushes you to see the misery in their eyes and the comfort they seek in your arms is heart breaking. She would not let anyone but me touch her. My whispers and arms were the comfort she seeked. To see her calling out to me and trying to get to me will forever be ingrained in my mind. I am a mother not just to my children, but to the animals in many ways. To see them in pain crushes you. Yes, we eat what we raise and it is easier to disconnect emotions for them. Kinda like when you have a favorite family milk cow and a hunter shoots her before your eyes. It is not the same as death to feed your family.Senseless and unintentional death We are unprepared for that which is what hurts.
I too just want to give up and call it quits having animals.I think of it often but refuse to give in. If we give up every time something happens, we would never be stronger or wiser. I find I am more calm these days when tragedies happen and only break down when no one is around. It was purely an accident on all parties involved. A freak accident. I will not go into it but wanted to make it clear this was not a careless driver zipping down our road, but a cautious 5 MPH one.
The Captain knew what had to be done. She will be put next to our dearly missed Dawg.
I am really missing him lately. He keeps popping in my dreams like he never left. Now Willow will be running at his side.
Sweet Dreams,
~Tammie

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